Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Pouring out my heart, again: Conversations With My Daughter

Mom and daughter conversations can be interesting to say the least.  I am a mother of a 9 year old girl.  She just turned 9 this year and she already has very mature things on her little mind.  Over a 6 month period we have talked about shaving, menses, and developing boobs.

Conversation #1

"Mommy, when can I shave my legs?" asks D.  "Sweetie, once you start cutting those hairs they will come back thicker, darker and it is a never ending circle."  I say.  "Maybe, when you are 11 or 12 years old."  She looks at me and responds.  "Well, my hair bothers me now and I like it when they are smooth."  I reach over, lift up her pant leg and look at her legs.  She has no hair.  "D, did you use my razor?" 

Conversation #2

"Mom, when am I going to start my period?"  asks D.  "Well, girls can start anywhere between 9 and 12, I think?" I reply.  "I'm going to be 9 soon," states D.  "Yes, but that doesn't mean you will start then."  I close my eyes and pray "Lord, please don't let her get her period when she turns 9!"  I open my eyes and she asks, "Mom, Why do girls have periods?"  After stumbling over my words, I explain as much on her level I can, the miracle of life and the purpose of a women's womb.

Conversation #3

"Ok, everyone buckle up!"  I yell back at our 3 kids.  D shouts back, "Mom?"  I reply, "Yes?"  Without missing a beat she asks, "When will I get my PEARLS?"  I look to my husband and mouth silently, "Did she just call her boobs, pearls?"  To which he snorts, "YES!"  I was not silent enough, because she heard me and said, "It's sounds better than saying 'boobs'...prettier."  To which the hubs replies, "It kind of does."  *eye roll* 

I remember when I was pregnant with this girl and going to a women's craft fair.  I saw this graduation blanket that had all kinds of wonderful memories reflected in it.  At that moment my heart wrenched and I hadn't even given birth yet!  I thought, "Oh my gosh that day will come when I see my baby become an adult!"  Presently, I am half way there!  She will be 18 years old in nine years!  9 YEARS!  It seems like a long time but her first 9 years have just flown by!

I know there are going to be more intense conversations to come and I hope that I do right by her as they come.  I pray that I will remain open, honest, loving and be exactly what she needs no matter where these 'conversations' lead.  She is such a joy.  For now, I will encourage her to enjoy being a kid and when these milestones that signify woman hood come, we will embrace them together.


Brittney said...

Pearls! Omg I love it!!!!
This kinda makes me glad I have a boy, Idk how Id handle questions like that :)

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

I never looked forward to any of those things. I just wanted to stay being a kid. I tried wearing tight t-shirts to keep my "pearls" from popping out, but it didn't work. They came anyhow. I didn't have a clue what a period even was at age 9. My mom warned me it would be coming one day so I wasn't shocked and worried about it like she was--no one ever warned her. She just started bleeding one day and was scared something was wrong.

Miss Fit said...

Ahhh. We are pretty open with our kids and glad to have these conversations to avoid just that. So sad for your mom! It's neat that she is excited about becoming a woman because it is a beautiful thing!

I'm thankful that we just have 1 girl! Boys do seem to have less worries!

Shell said...

OMG, some days I'm very thankful that I only have boys. ;)

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