Thursday, May 20, 2010

Big Island of Hawaii, I Thank You. My Story - Part 3

 This was our first home.  All 1050 sf. of it.  Ours. Where my oldest 2 lost their first teeth.  All the kids caught frogs and lizards.  Not to mention lice and pin worms.  Middle kiddo learned to ride a bike.  On a dirt road.  The dryer ate our towels and died.  Therefore causing us to make use of air drying.  

Ah, the memories. 

I've been to Maui, Oahu and Kauai.  None of them compare to the Big Island.  The moment we are picked up by my parents and drive, all my visions of "Paradise" are so not what I am experiencing.  Yes, there are the palm trees, warm tropical wind and dark skinned natives.  What there is not is, well, Hawaii.  The Hawaii that I had experienced was not dry, lava laden, or desert like.

All I can think, when we get to the house my parents rented, was my kids are going to be torn up and get staph infection from all the lava rock laying around!  It could happen.  Hubs signed up for the Carpenters union and I applied to take the test to get licensed in HI for Massage.  Such was our plan.  Build.  Massage.  Make money.  Make a new life.

We stayed on the Kona side of the island in a area know as Ocean View.  Our Pastor connected us with a older couple that he knew and we went to church with them a few times.  Then, the arrangement my dad had with his brother, that lived there changed.  The deal was that Dad and his bro were going to build a house and sell it.  Well that happened and my uncle moved with his girl friend off island, for family related issues.  I'm still not sure if he got any thing from the sale.

New plan.  Move to the other side of the island.  Where property cost is lower.  After a month or two of living in Ocean View, we moved to Keau'u and we stayed with the parents for a while, paid rent, Hubs got a job offer and decided dad was better suited for the job.  Dad became project manager and Hubs hired on as a carpenter.   Some where in the midst the parents bought a house and we occupied 2 of the 3 rooms.  Yup.  Cozy.

I was miserable.  Me and the dad would clash at times.  He has control issues.  I had confrontation issues.  I cried in bed at night.  I hated being dependent yet again on my parents for my future.  I've always been pretty independent and having put myself in this situation was killing me.  I think my cries included, "I don't even want to be here!!!  Why did we think this was a good idea!? and We need to rent a house!"

I did become apart of a home school co-op, after deciding I didn't want my kids to experience any racial prejudice within the public school system there. I made some friends and the kids loved making new friends too.  I even taught a music appreciation class for K-3rd graders.  Fun.  Then we meet one of my friends hubby, who was a mortgage broker.  He taught me how to paint.  Anyway, Dad and Broker get hubs and I hooked on the idea of buying a house.

Things were going pretty good.  Hubs got paid well.  I passed the exam, got my license, found a job and we found a wonderful church.  We dreamed big.  We could find a place to fix up and flip.  This was our mission.  We didn't walk into this decision blind.  We had taken classes on home buying, understood some lingo and deep down knew we shouldn't be buying a home.  We even talked to the minister over finance at our new awesome church and he advised that, in his exact words, "You  should wait a year and the market will come down.  Then it will be a buyers market and you'll have the ball in your court."

Sure.  Sounds good.  We didn't listen.  Yikes.  Big mistake.  We got into a house at twice its value, with twice the amount of interest, which means twice the amount of a payment.  Uh oh.  In x amount of years if we didn't refinance by then the payments would continue to increase.  Man.  We are toast.

Yes, it was a fixer upper and if we could get a construction loan we could finish the first level but the kicker is we didn't want the type of loan we got.  The hubs was not aware of either the doctoring of the wages until the day we went to go sign.  How you say?  Not sure on that but I think he just wanted to make me happy and truly believed we could pull this off.  Buying, after all is always a good investment.  Right?

BTW, in the interim we joined a small group that met in our neighbor hood and miracle number one happened.  God sent my hubs an accountability partner.  Not only was he experienced in SA counseling/group therapy but also, believed the hubs to be sent by God to him as a person who could speak truth into his life as well.  What an incredible blessing!  This eased one of my many fears.  That he would become an island and have no accountability.  We became fast friends with this couple and shared our burdens with one another.  I miss them.  They have moved back to the pacific northwest, however and we hope to reconnect with them, soon.

Also, I need to back up.  While we lived in AK, my mentor delivered a box full of resources.  Books.  Books on healing, restoration, deliverance, and hope.  We attacked this deal together.  Prayed fiercely.  Claimed our marriage, our children and our children's children for God's kingdom.  I never want to see my offspring ever experience this kind of heart ache, ever.  I believe this to be key, on top of the support we already had, to our relationship finding health again.  I love her.  Dearly.  She is a gift and prayer warrior.

Our time on the island, did in fact become a very treasured time.  Two years of solace.  I did share our story and hubs did as well.  We did so carefully and a few honored us with their friendships.  It was easy, as it could be, to share when it felt right.  We continued counseling in our new church as well.  I loved our time at this church.  I experienced worship and community on another level.  They incorporated the culture in service, dance, music, drama and art.  I miss this at times, too.

I hate to do this but there's going to be a part four.  Long posts aren't good.  It tends to lose the reader(s)?
Hope to "see" you here, Friday.  Mahalo.


Tylaine said...

That is so wonderful how you guys both worked through things together. :) It sounds like you both have amazing attitudes and great faith. Those two years certainly sound like a good experience and something you needed. I'm sure God was looking after you through this difficult time.

Angie said...

Somehow I missed when part 2 was posted. Your story is amazing and I can't wait to read part 4!

Dawn Mathews said...

You know, looking back 14 years ago, when we were all so fresh and new and just starting college, we probably wouldn't have been able to handle the things God knew would come our way. I am truely sorry your family had to go through all of this. Hubs included. SA is Satan at his best. Steve said yesterday that if someone had told him 18 months ago that his life, wife, children, and finances would be the best they have been since we got married he would have laughed at them. We found ministry to be the most stressful and unrewarding challenge of our marriage. Now that we do it without pay it has become the BEST. The truth is we have all had to go through some pretty horrible stuff to get to where we are. I hope for you guys that you can spend some time on the mountain top and enjoy life there:)

Lisa said...

Hi Misty, I never read this before. Time for part four.

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